Problems

I see other people are problems.

No.

No one can tell me to shut up.

"The Love"

What good is it being Generation X?  Baby Boomers never loved us.  They got the love.

No...

People think I'm just some person overly upset over an older lady everyone likes.

Maimed

They're being stupid and maimed me because they think someone is better than me and I'm bad.

Messed Up

They tried to mess me up so I'm not as good as her.

Naturally

They act like if I'm quiet it'll be better, but it's not so I have to do something about it anyway.

What???

The older lady suggested her feeling more popular than me all over the world means she cares about me.  I was cut off by other people acting like it was her.

Lies Lies Lies

So, I don't believe in you.

Bothered

I get bothered if I think about her in a good way.  Other people did it.

Ignored, Lied To

They are pretending to take things that they think give me inappropriate pleasure to an older lady I was supposed to have a relationship with, and somehow people think she's too good for me now she is famous.

I think they said she took back what she said like I did something, like I'm bad to suggest what she used to, something that's not perverted people do to her.

Not Getting Attention

So, I'm selfish to dislike this, but an older lady I like is getting all the attention and no one cares because they think it hurts me.

Is it true?

Late Boomers are so shallow.

Shut Up

If I speak my mind, something bad happens to me.

Too Fucking Long

I've been holding on for years.

Too Much Torture

People think I'm impatient to expect things to be okay and me not find myself singled out to have my life ruined.

Problems

Late Boomers are so selfish, and everyone else is literally shit.

What's Important

I'm not important, just important to be mean to.

Messing Around

People keep messing with me.

Someone has a grudge on me like there's something wrong with me.

Unfair Life

Why am I stuck with these mean messages all the time?

I didn't even do it.

My dad was seriously rubbing something the wrong way thinking it proves I'm bad because I was okay before his elaboration, which did happen.

Disgusted

These people monitoring me in private keep trying to act overly confident over me.

Hurt

This is shit.  I just keep getting beat up by an older lady I like through "messengers" and then they say they didn't do it.

Why It's True

I'm nagging to worry about my future!

So, it's true...

So, people are lying I get treated nastily as a precaution others will know and not be nice about my relationship with an older lady I like.

Messing Around

Supposedly, an older lady I like did something perverted because she wanted to bother me, like it's it, it's over, and it's because I did something wrong (and I didn't.)

It seemed bound to be doomed.  People just single me out to test me, to examine my past, find fault in weird things, and then everyone else gets to have her instead but not me because they weren't good like me like they would get their love, too.

I have "freedom of speech."  ...

Remote Control

I hear maybe other people are taking someone after I met them and was supposed to have a relationship with them and inappropriately being able to stimulate them.  They say it's my punishment, but it's just shit and I didn't do shit.  People keep bossing me around and acting like I am wrong and boss them around, but I don't, see?  I can do whatever I want, too.  I don't really answer to anyone.

So..

What's business now?

Fun Things to Think About That Has to Be, Has to Be a Part of My Life, in a Way

So, first someone said they were good with someone else more than others for standing back.

But, then, it's a fight 'til it's "right"  Collecting approval constantly sometimes from others who don't get much that they want, maybe what she has.  Asking them if it's okay.  "Stalling for time."  "Beating around the bush."  Not afraid of others though, just like someone else.  Not trying to be mean but incredibly bored here.  It's okay to have such a relationship, but I wonder what everyone else is doing here.

It seems everyone else is talking about it, though, telepathically, and I feel misrepresented.

School

I am happy I can use my mom's MacBook instead of buying another laptop for school.  I'll have to get it disinfected or do it myself.  Now, I can use my money for more things.

Question

Are we supposed to follow and be like this girl's hot mom? or will people like us for who we are?

Problematic

People think I have problems, but they really do.

Just go through my history.

Sad

I thought the older lady I like was cool with things.

Hair Cut

I'm cutting my bangs, too, probably not much.

"Some People"

You know, not everyone is perfect.

Advantages

I may not be perfect, but it's a fact I have more than some people.

Faking It

People are un-impressively putting on an act.

Unimpressed

People with older moms think I'm not impressive but like people my mom's age.

You can't take this seriously.  They act like I'm a demon.

(continued)

It is clear.

Weirdos

So, people were mean to me and wouldn't accept me for no reason maybe and now think I'm not as practiced in communicating and being impressive and able to be accepted somehow.  Good people don't have those prerequisites.  I am a good person.

School

I might not need to buy a new laptop and can use my mom's.  Maybe, I can spend money on other things, like some shirts I like and a cheap homemade bin cage for my hamster.

Bleached Hair

I'm bleaching my hair again.

I want it straight and light.  I'll get a keratin treatment maybe next month.

"Simple as That"

Is my past your future in public?

Bound to Be Recognized

Anything interesting?  Anyone-

When?

People tried to put a halt on my life to get further ahead than they were before and try to act like I'm nothing.

Like I'm Some Hollywood Freak

Why am I the place to gather for punishment and people following funny codes to fill my days, which may never matter more, as a suggestion?

Did you just wake up?

People are seriously separating me from cool older people.

Musicians in Hollwood?

Most musicians could use the money in Hollywood?

Out of the Game?

There are no rising classical musicians or composers in the US because they are racially corrupt.

Is this better?

At our expense, what are we juggling that need not be?

It Seems As Though

I feel like I'm being asked something just to say no.

In Any Special Order

So, first, you ask the daughter of an attractive etc. lady if they want her and if not then others get to try out?

Problem

People want to get in the way so I don't succeed changing my instrument to violin because they are jealous...

People want to say it's my fault rather than like be happy about people who started piano as an adult.

The Money

People think liking someone who can be popular is like money and not love etc.

Freaking out Constantly About Me

Why do people single me out in bad ways and freak out about every little thing I do in my unfair, hard social life?  Unless it's like someone no one wants to talk to then.  So, people must also have it set up that way, to make people I like be harassed when I get to interact with them.

(continued)

I guess they had it coming.  Parents don't have anything to live for, and so they hurt others ad take from them socially.

Baby Boomers?  They thought they could keep caring about their children's generation, but the generation older than Baby Boomers put an end to that.  Also, Baby Boomers are supposed to care about people born before 1985, too.  😑

Harrassment

Parents are easily swayed by their children.  Who else?

They convince them to go against others and make them unhappy.

It's not everyone else's fault!

People are always skirting around making excuses for their kids to get attention and be liked while others are hated even if they don't deserve to be.

"A HA!"

People make nothing of the internet like there's no time to be successful at work and also post online because they know they won't be the most popular.  They are waiting until others suffer and can't feel as good online; when others suffer and don't feel as good online, then others want to start using it to their end.

"Your Place to Say" or Not?

What do you think of people who want to sit back and do things with others in a situation yet not say much ... but when someone does get mad?

Message Board Post by Me

(film|boards)

Topic by Me

What do you think of people who stand out as being more popular and emotional?

etc.?

Like, that favorite teacher, maybe a music teacher?

Also, what do you think of how some kids match and are good people and could have a good relationship with people like favorite teachers, and then bad, out-of-place people act up and ruin it all? Today, people say younger people can't like older mentor-like figures, like a favorite teacher, because bad people will all act out like everyone wants to have that relationship and how there probably isn't enough time for everyone … and so make sure no one gets it because they know it wasn't for them then?

Message Board Post by Me

(film|boards)

Topic by Me

Are you like your parents?

…and do others think so?

I know how everyone in the US is obsessed with how their younger siblings are babyish and suck ups, but they forgot about comparing kids to their parents too and not just their younger siblings.

There's something crazy going around about being like your parents when you don't want to become that way.

Is it a natural feeling?

... that if you like someone you like their family?

DeviantArt

Colored Pencil

Kindle Unlimited

“How to Draw for Kids” - “Children Art Book Vol. 1”
(C) 2020 - Max Fun

Appreciative

While it seems I should only be appreciative of the older lady I like, I get depressed she's not that open with me like with others, like people from my life she knows about.  It happens in hurtful ways, like when I'm more vulnerable and don't know it.  Then, people get on my case and won't leave things be.

Too Many People

I'm not getting what I deserve because bad people want to take it, things like nostalgia for old days.

Maybe a Trap

Maybe, there's just no hope and this is all a trap.

"Forgotten"

I did already play along, but they are going overboard and this is extremely selfish.

Annoyed

People keep acting like I did something wrong.

...but...

Do what you will, you seem to believe it and meant it.

"A Disturbance in the Force"

If the older lady I like is all that in a certain way ... I forget what I was going to say ... oh yes, if she gets slack that she isn't really "all that" (but still gets more pleasure than others,) why does she have fame and popularity over me now?  It's not helping anyone.  She's "one more" famous person.  She didn't make everyone else famous through all this and popular.

People are like a herd of cattle, and if I notice something funny about her in these hard ways of communicating with my dad always threateningly mad at me ... does not mean everyone has to notice it and act on it like it's better that way, probably just ruining my relationship with her and maybe acting like she'll get more pleasure because she is popular but also after/through me in some ways.

I'm upset she may die someday, not a big life ahead, and people getting involved in bad ways is not helping.  I feel teased.  Come on, the whole world wants her.

They took advantage of me.

No one "gets it."

Someone I like a lot is there with people monitoring me in private being mean to me ... this person I like a lot, an older lady, who seemed smart and nice actually can't seem to get past blocks of thinking and keeps acting like it's smart to have already detected that my younger girl cousin is gonna get what I deserve like it's her business ... and this older lady actually went in and acted like my cousin was better.

"No one cares about me."

There are people monitoring me in private, and an older lady I like supposedly can punish me (for no reason) and it is like she is set to end our relationship.

College

I guess I may just go to college and not work or do ballet.  I graduate this semester.

I don't have money to take ballet classes to prepare for an audition, though I may go in and take classes.

Work would also take up time and is not beneficial to my health like ballet.

I am living on SSI and may move into a group home.

Why So Silent?

People act like they subdued me racially.

Used and Abused and Confused

People won't admit they made a mistake here and just want all this social drama that's hard on me.

Devalued

People think because others are bad that that changes my life because people say it was unfair I was good and that that's the only reason I get anything.

Gyped

People are mean to me and singling me out and acting like other people are better, at my expense.

People want to act like I'm in trouble when I'm a very good person and otherwise not associate with me as intensely.

I can see where this could be coming from.

The Phantom of the Opera's famous organ part is like candy or a lollipop for the organ.

I know a lot ... of songs.

I can sing most of "Gethsemane" from Jesus Christ Superstar, among a whole lot of other Broadway songs.

The 2 Big B's

Andrew Lloyd Webber is more like Bach than Beethoven, as they both played organ I know.

Pop Music

Broadway is labeled pop because it's also simpler than classical music.  Well, more in the middle of pop and classical, not sure the exact coordinates.

New York

What good is New York if you can't learn to like a New Yorker like me?

Home Videos - Ages 15-16

Home Video

Me Age 16 Doing Tai Chi for Kids Taught by My Mom

DeviantArt

Ducks

Colored Pencil

Kindle Unlimited

“How to Draw for Kids” - “Children Art Book Vol. 1”
(C) 2020 - Max Fun

Breakfast

Pancakes - Butter + Syrup

My favorite is thin and burned.

Hair Color and Race

So, how is black hair worth it if you're not all white?

Sports Mask

I can wear a mask if I have to.  Last time, no one did, but we were at least tested for a fever by measuring the temperature of our forehead.

So...

I'm gonna go to ballet until it's time to start and sign up and audition at that school.  I'm going to where they have some adult ballet classes running.

New Plan

Instead of getting my AA, I think I'm gonna take ballet and audition to be in The Nutcracker in a ballet company at a school for all ages and levels.  I guess I'll just hang in there until I need to move to a group home.  I'm also practicing violin.

Message Board Post by Me

(film|boards)

Topic by Me

What do you think about other posters here? People in general?

Well, I think most would unfriend me for gossiping about them if I "said" anything.

Most people here pretty much get what they can expect, but I feel people single me out like I'm bad. The people with more European heritage seem to all be mean to me.

Work

I've applied for 3 jobs as a receptionist.

Applying to Colleges

I'll need an apartment and to apply for SSI.

A Job Done

They (the people on the message board with heritage from Europe) don't draw as much attention to themselves usually but they always feel right like they've proven me to be shit.

Hateful Europeans Online

All the people with heritage from Europe are spiteful to me on a message board, like it's serious and I'm just a joke.

Fishing in America

I guess non-Americans want to be in league with Americans of an older generation.  Does that leave me free to move to Europe/Germany?

Working

I've applied for 2 desk jobs, I think as a greeter.  I was a greeter for Easter Bunny pictures in 2019, at the mall.  It's to support myself in college, like apartment, food, necessities, etc.

Uh-Oh

I don't like being someone who people once liked only to say wow to someone else and throw me out.

It's like, if you liked me you'll love this person even better, forever.

"Lame Excuse"

It seems like people might be having their kids as not as ideal so they can say they say they had it unfair and take from me.