"A Disturbance in the Force"

If the older lady I like is all that in a certain way ... I forget what I was going to say ... oh yes, if she gets slack that she isn't really "all that" (but still gets more pleasure than others,) why does she have fame and popularity over me now?  It's not helping anyone.  She's "one more" famous person.  She didn't make everyone else famous through all this and popular.

People are like a herd of cattle, and if I notice something funny about her in these hard ways of communicating with my dad always threateningly mad at me ... does not mean everyone has to notice it and act on it like it's better that way, probably just ruining my relationship with her and maybe acting like she'll get more pleasure because she is popular but also after/through me in some ways.

I'm upset she may die someday, not a big life ahead, and people getting involved in bad ways is not helping.  I feel teased.  Come on, the whole world wants her.

They took advantage of me.