...I felt in trouble a certain time, which I usually feel for private sorta reasons maybe, the pores on my face got visible, like my parents's! I wonder if I was considered shit because of that... thereon out. Like, I remember for instance an attractive choir director and organ teacher, seemed like she overshadowed me, with her hair bleached white, a newly-millionaire husband, allowed to direct a choir without knowing how to sing and conduct from the organ, got a doctorate in Music in Organ Performance I think ... I had great aspirations and was cordial and entertaining ...